Christians are straight up FREAKS
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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