i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My vagina just recognized that song.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
