I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
