Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wish there were birth control emojis
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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