I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Randomize