I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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