Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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