Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
