omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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