It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
