I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need to align my fucking chakras
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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