She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize