I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
