But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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