The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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