Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
