So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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