Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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