In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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