As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
