mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
