Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
