He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
