They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
