He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
