I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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