We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Never underestimate the power of titties
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize