she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
