I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
