your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When are your genitals available?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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