Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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