He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
