did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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