At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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