I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
