We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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