I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
