Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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