I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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