What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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