Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
This is not my ceiling
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize