is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
