I think my vagina is haunted
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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