whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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