How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
