At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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