did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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