Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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