New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize