you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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