She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize