On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
