please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
