super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
