does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
